This week I came across a website called Computer Stupidities that is filled with true stories (most of them anyways) of experiences people have had dealing with those who aren’t… quite… computer literate. I’m sure many of you have your own “stupidities” or funny stories to share (feel free to) but that’s not what today’s article is about. As I was reading through some of the stories, I thought of two forwarded emails I received several weeks ago that I thought were worth sharing.
I don’t have the original source for either of them, so if you know where they originated from, let me know.
Life Before the Computer:
An application was for employment
A program was a TV show
A cursor used profanity
A keyboard was a piano!
Memory was something that you lost with age
A CD was a bank account
And if you had a 3 1/2 inch floppy
You hoped nobody found out!
Compress was something you did to garbage
Not something you did to a file
And if you unzipped anything in public
You’d be in jail for awhile!
Log on was adding wood to a fire
Hard drive was a long trip on the road
A mouse pad was where a mouse lived
And a backup happened to your commode!
Cut – you did with a pocket knife
Paste you did with glue
A web was a sipder’s home
And a virus was the flu!
I guess I’ll stick to my pad and paper
And the memory in my head
I hear nobody’s been killed in a computer crash
But when it happens they wish they were dead!
And along the same lines: Birth by Computer…
Son says: Daddy, how was I born?
Dad says: Ah my son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway…
Well you see, your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on MSN. Then I set up a date via email with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe. We sneaked into a secluded room where your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive.
As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later a blessed little popup appeared and said: You’ve got Male!
And so, your best computer stupidity stories are?