Funny Friday

What would happen if different airlines had different operating systems running them? Maybe something like this…

Dos –  Everybody pushes it till it glides, then jumps on and lets it coast till it skids, then jumps off, pushes, jumps back on, etc.

Mac – All the flight attendants, captains and baggage handlers look the same, act the same and talk the same. Every time you ask a question, you are told you don’t need to know, don’t want to know and everything will be done for you without your knowing, so just shut up.

Windows – Colorful airport terminal, friendly flight attendants, easy access to a plane, and an uneventful takeoff. Then, all in a sudden, boom! You blow up without any warning whatsoever.

Unix – Everyone brings one piece of the plane. Then they go on the runway and piece it together, all the while arguing about what kind of plane they’re building.


Source: All Computer Humor

Similar question, but a different scenario: What if operating systems were beer? Hmm…
PS: Check out the “liquid cooled” computer to the right :)

BeerDos – Requires you to use your own can opener, and requires you to read the directions carefully before opening the can. Originally only came in an 8-oz. can, but now comes in a 16-oz. can. However, the can is divided into 8 compartments of 2 oz. each, which have to be accessed separately. Soon to be discontinued, although a lot of people are going to keep drinking it after it’s no longer available.

Mac – At first, came only a 16-oz. can, but now comes in a 32-oz. can. Considered by many to be a “light” beer. All the cans look identical. When you take one from the fridge, it opens itself. The ingredients list is not on the can. If you call to ask about the ingredients, you are told that “you don’t need to know.” A notice on the side reminds you to drag your empties to the trashcan.

Windows 98 – Millions sampled Windows95 beer and noticed that it was often flat, right out of the can. The manufacturer of Windows95 beer decided to re-release it as Windows98 beer and guarantee it’s freshness. Most consumers are skeptical of the manufacturer’s claims, and will continue to drink flat Windows95 beer because they have acquired the taste for it.

Windows 2000 – The manufacturer of the Windows line of beers says this will be “the” beer, if they can just finish playing with the ingredients. This beer will have many ingredients of Windows 95/98 and NT beers. Many drinkers in the future will be forced to drink this when they get thirsty since they won’t be able to find Windows 95 or 98 or NT beer on the shelves. According to manufacturer it’s combines the greatest taste ever with almost no calories. Only one problem, the cans explode without warning and take out half the refrigerator with them.

Linux – LINUX beer tastes just like Unix beer. Like Unix beer, Linux beer is intended for expert beer drinkers only. It originally had no pop tops or cans because you had to brew it yourself. First you would get a recipe and some yeast from a Unix guru. Then go plow a field, plant your barley and hops. After harvest you would take your Kernels and put them into a barrel full of water, then you just add your yeast close the lid, and let your beer compile. After all this you have what experts claim to be one of the Worlds Best Beers. Linux beers do not normally explode but many brewers have been known to. Linux beer is now available from some Micro Brewery in handy pop top versions for easy drinking by beginner Unix or Linux beer drinkers. Keep your can openers handy.

Source: TOBP Humor

Another similar question – which operating system would you want running your brain?

BrainWindows – You think about one of any number of things at anyone time but only for a short amount of time because then your mind goes blank as you encounter a “general protection fault” and as a last resort you have to re-boot your brain.

Dos –  You only think of one thing at one time, and can’t remember anything else you were meant to be thinking about. You think only in words and never any pictures.

Unix – Wow – you can think of lots of things all at once until your brain runs out of sockets. You can only talk though with people who have brains made by the same vendor. Unfortunately you also never make any sense and have to read manuals to learn how to think. Predominantly a random thinker.

Linux –  You can think of any number of things and not run out of sockets. Unfortunately, there is no support for your particular limbs, ears, mouth or …. thingy…. available yet so you are reluctant to change over at this stage.